


Writer's Block

by LexNite



Category: Naruto
Genre: Dating apps are the worst, Demisexual Iruka, Friends to Lovers, Icha Icha Series, Modern AU, Trans Hatake Kakashi, Writer's Block, mentions of dead naming, mentions of transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22765654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexNite/pseuds/LexNite
Summary: Iruka has been plagued by writer's block for months when one of his online friends offers to help. Could this coffee date really help him finally finish his story? Or is there more to Sukea's offer?
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Comments: 35
Kudos: 98





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this because I have had terrible writer's block for months and have been unable to finish anything. So hi friends. I am alive and well.

Iruka stared at the blank word document wishing for inspiration. For months, he’d been stuck on the latest chapter for his Icha Icha fanfic. He had started the chapter at least half a dozen times only to delete it. He’d never had writer’s block this bad before. It was always so easy to get the words to flow before, but now getting a single sentence out felt like a struggle. The worst part was that he felt like he was letting his readers down. 

The teacher sighed heavily and closed his laptop, setting it on the couch next to him. A year ago he’d taken the leap into posting his stories online and had been pleasantly surprised by the reaction he’d received from the community. The Icha Icha community was growing as the books became more popular and there were even rumors of a TV show. It was his guilty pleasure. After he was done correcting homework, he would delve deep into all the internet had to offer about the books. The books were cheesy as all hell, but they had gotten him through some dark times. 

Unfortunately, now his favorite series was causing him stress. He wasn’t sure what changed, but it was driving him crazy. Writing was supposed to be fun, not make him want to burst into tears from sheer frustration. Maybe he should just call it a night and sleep off the depression for failing to write anything…again. He was staring at his laptop dejected when his phone chimed. 

He unlocked his phone to find a message from Sukea. Sukea had been one of his first friends in the Icha Icha community and ran a chat group for authors. Iruka had fallen away from the group as his writer’s block grew worse. He felt a bit guilty that he hadn’t talked to any of his friends in a while. Maybe he was telling him he couldn’t be in the group anymore because he’d been so inactive? He clicked on the message before his anxiety could get the better of him.

> Sukea: Hey Ru! Hadn’t heard from you in a while and noticed you’d gone silent from posting as well. Hope everything is okay!

Iruka smiled at the message, touched he’s reached out. Maybe he was being too hard on himself about the whole writer’s block thing. 

> Ru: Yeah. Sorry I haven’t been around much. I have been having a hard time with writer’s block and have been feeling crappy about it. Didn’t mean to disappear.
> 
> Sukea: No problem. I get it. Want to talk about it? Maybe bounce some ideas off of me? I still owe you that cup of coffee.

He stared down at his phone, heat rushing to his cheeks. When Sukea had found out they lived in the same town, he had immediately offered to buy him a cup of coffee. Iruka had agreed, but the other man had needed to cancel at the last moment. Though he was kind of glad things hadn’t worked out. Sukea rarely posted pictures of himself, but what little Iruka had seen had made him fall in lust with him. He knew if they ever met in person he’d make a fool of himself. His phone chimed again, drawing his attention back to their conversation.

> Sukea: No pressure though. Just want to help. :)
> 
> Ru: Are you free Friday night?
> 
> Sukea: I should be done with work by 6. Meet at like 7? 
> 
> Ru: Works for me. Saves me from another Friday night of grading. Where do you want to meet?
> 
> Sukea: I think there’s a coffee shop by the ramen place you love so much???
> 
> Ru: There is. I’ll see you there!

Iruka stared down at his phone, stomach in knots. It was just coffee…with a friend…that he had been neglecting for months. He groaned and tossed his phone down next to his laptop. He really shouldn’t have made plans with Sukea. They got along well enough online, but what if he was awful in real life? Or worse, what if he was wonderful? He hadn’t dated anyone in a couple of years and he was crushing hard on him. Or maybe he was just overthinking everything and coffee would be great. Maybe Sukea really could help him overcome his writer’s block?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am most active on Tumblr if you ever want to reach out. Or check out my Texts From KakaIru series.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: [Lex](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/alexianite) or [Art](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/adirtymartinisgalaxyart)   
>  Join our awesome Facebook group [Armada](https://www.facebook.com/groups/601270063618951/)  
> Also, I started posting an original story. Please check it out! [Exiting Eden](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18633511/chapters/44186227)


	2. Chapter 2

Iruka watched as the minutes ticked by, his anxiety rising. Why had he agreed to coffee? Everything that could have gone wrong that day had. His day at school had run long after being cornered by an angry parent. She was furious that her son was falling his class even though he'd sent home letters, left her several messages, and had even tried emailing her. None of that mattered because she had to know why her child was failing right that second. He was a good kid, but to date, he had yet to turn in a single piece of homework.

Things had gotten so bad that one of the other teachers had fetched the principal. She had asked the mother to leave once she started to curse at both of them. Then he had forgotten that he'd promised Anko he would help her with the after school program that day. That had been going well until a student spilled his drink all over Iruka, which meant he had to go all the way home and change before meeting Sukea. Now, he was going to be late meeting him.

Why hadn't he asked for his number when he'd agreed to this? He had sent him a DM that he was running behind, but he may not see it in time. Iruka gripped his steering wheel, palms sweating. If he could make it through this red light then he would only be a few minutes late. His anxiety spiked as the person in front of him didn't move when the light changed. He was normally much more in control of his emotions, but today he was ready to rip the unaware driver a new one. He just barely made it through the light, which helped calm his anxiety some, but he was still going to be late.

Iruka nearly wept when the sign for Ichiraku came into view. He parked across the street from the ramen shop and headed into the nearby coffee shop. A quick scan let him know Sukea wasn't there yet. He never showed his face online, preferring to wear a mask and eye patch, but the mess of silver hair would be hard to miss. He ordered a drink and sat down by the front window so he could watch for the other man. 

Nearly twenty minutes passed and Iruka was ready to give up. Surely, he wasn't coming at this point. He sighed and checked his phone again. Still no message from Sukea. Was he alright? Had something come up? Should he just go? He was still arguing with himself when someone dropped into the seat across from him. "Sorry for being late. I got hung up at work and forgot to charge my phone. And then there was this old lady that needed some help crossing the road." Sukea beamed at him across the table and Iruka forgot how to breathe.

He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but any expectations had just been blown out of the water. Sukea...was fucking hot! Was this why he chose not to show his face online? More than half of their author chat group already thought he was drool-worthy and they had no idea the true scope of his attractiveness. Iruka should be irritated that he was over twenty-five minutes late, but instead, he stared helplessly at his cute little mole and scarred cheek. "I need your number," he blurted out. "I mean, I was also running a bit late and then I realized I had no way of making sure you knew that because I didn't have your number. Not that it would have mattered since your phone died..." His face was burning by the time he finished his explanation.

Sukea laughed and the sound made Iruka's stomach do an odd flip. "I should have given it to you and remembered to charge my phone. But it's good to finally meet you, Ru. My real name is Kakashi, by the way."

"Iruka, though I do sometimes go by Ru." He used the nickname as part of his screen name online. "It's good to meet you as well."

Kakashi put his hands on the table and leaned forward. "Now, let's work on that smut of yours." Iruka swallowed and wondered just what he had gotten himself into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support on this odd little self-indulgent fic.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: [Lex](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/alexianite) or [Art](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/adirtymartinisgalaxyart)   
>  Join our awesome Facebook group [Armada](https://www.facebook.com/groups/601270063618951/)  
> Also, I started posting an original story. Please check it out! [Exiting Eden](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18633511/chapters/44186227)


	3. Chapter 3

Iruka spent nearly three hours talking to Kakashi that night. They had eventually moved their conversation across the street so they could enjoy some ramen. They talked about his story some, but mostly they had talked about their lives. It did the trick though. The teacher had plowed through the next chapter of his story and posted it online. He finally had some inspiration to get it going again thanks to his gorgeous new friend.

He was pleasantly surprised when Kakashi texted him the next day to tell him he'd had a great time. Now, almost two weeks later, they texted daily. He loved waking up and sending Kakashi a good morning text. He had to be up much earlier for school, but Kakashi always made sure to tell him good night. They had plans to hang out again that weekend and Iruka was very much looking forward to it.

The only problem was that he was starting to think of Kakashi as more than a friend. He stared down at his last message from him and tried not too read too much into the winky emoji he'd sent. For fuck's sake, he was acting like one of his middle schoolers with their first crush. It had just been a while since he'd been with someone. He was just projecting that onto Kakashi. That must be it.

He sighed and opened up the latest dating app he'd downloaded, though most people used it for hooking up. Maybe he should just bite the bullet and find someone to at least talk to. If he could distract himself enough surely his feelings for Kakashi would fade. He rolled his eyes at the few messages he had waiting for him since most of them seemed to be about sex.

He didn't even have a picture of his face up, so the men messaging him were only lusting after his body. It had always been a turn off for him to be told how much someone desired his body. He was so much more than that. Maybe this wasn't the best place to be looking for companionship after all. He never liked using his real name or posting too many pictures of himself. A creepy father of one of his students found him on a similar app once and that had been enough for this lifetime.

Iruka casually clicked through, not seeing anyone worth matching with. He was lonely, but not desperate for a relationship. Truth be told, he had a hard time connecting to people over an app. It was rare that he had a connection like he did with Kakashi. He absentmindedly clicked through profiles, getting more depressed with each click. This had been a bad idea. "Holy fuck!" He clutched the phone tightly in his hand, trying to confirm that his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. No, that was definitely a picture of Kakashi. While some of the pictures had the mask Iruka was used to seeing, there was one that showed him with a shy smile.

Kakashi was single and they had a high matching rate. He clicked like without a second thought and nearly died when it showed they were a match. There was no way Kakashi knew this profile belonged to him, but there was enough there that he had liked him! Heart pounding in his chest he typed out a quick message. 'Hey. It's Ru. Looks like we matched. Haha.' He cringed as soon as he hit send, wishing he'd said something more clever or at least not so lame. He was surprised when the reply came almost immediately.

> Kakashi: Oh hey. Yeah, funny that we are both on here. Looks like we are a pretty good match too! And not just because you like Icha Icha as much as I do. ;)
> 
> Iruka: I'm sure liking Icha Icha is a bonus. I was just thinking about our plans this weekend. I'm looking forward to seeing you this weekend.

He hoped his message didn't sound desperate or clingy. Oh god, was he being too forward? What if Kakashi didn't like him like that? He had no way of knowing the profile was his. What if he decided to cancel their plans? He would never be able to show his face in their author group again. He would have to leave the fandom. Just as his panic was starting to set in, his phone chimed alerting him that Kakashi had sent him a text. His heart sank as he clicked to open the message.

Play it cool, Ru. He already asked you out more or less. He stared at his phone for several minutes waiting for Kakashi to respond. After five minutes, he stopped checking. There was probably a reasonable explanation. Maybe he was in the middle of something. Maybe he hadn't charged his phone again. Maybe he rethought asking him out and was currently changing his name and disappearing. Iruka groaned and tossed his phone to the other side of the bed. Why was he like this? He ran a hand through his hair, grimacing at how gross it had gotten that day. He needed a shower and to not stress about Kakashi texting him back.

Iruka's heart lept with joy when he saw his phone flashing. Please don't be junk mail or something lame. Three messages from Kakashi about ten minutes apart each. Oh shit. He hadn't meant to take so long in the shower. He quickly typed out a response and hoped Kakashi would respond.

Kakashi's response helped calm his nerves a bit. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if they were both awkward as hell. They chatted for a bit longer, mostly sharing Icha Icha memes before Iruka had to go to bed. He clutched his phone to his chest, thinking about Kakashi's goodnight-message: 'Dream of me'. He knew he had a stupid grin on his face, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. Not one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those that have been following the saga of the princex, the part about online dating is totally about them. Also, I am 100% awkward Iruka.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: [Lex](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/alexianite) or [Art](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/adirtymartinisgalaxyart)   
>  Join our awesome Facebook group [Armada](https://www.facebook.com/groups/601270063618951/)  
> Also, I started posting an original story. Please check it out! [Exiting Eden](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18633511/chapters/44186227)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of deadnaming and transphobia

Iruka was sweating like crazy as he stepped into the bookstore. The newest book in the Icha Icha series released today and it made the perfect day for a first date. Or so Kakashi had said. He didn't even know why he was so nervous. Kakashi liked him, wanted to date him, so why did he feel like this? He took a deep breath and looked around the store. The plan was to buy the book and get coffee at the cafe inside the store. They would see where things went from there.

Except Kakashi was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he was just a bit late. He should just find the book and wait for him. He headed for the romance section excited to check out the newest installment but stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted Kakashi talking to another man. He looked incredibly uncomfortable which the other man seemed oblivious to. 

"I can't believe I ran into you. I almost didn't recognize you given how much you've changed," he said gesturing to Kakashi. "I'd heard you were a dude now, but like it's crazy how different you look. Not the shy girl in science class anymore." He was smiling and Iruka wanted to punch him in his ignorant face. No wonder Kakashi looked so uncomfortable.

"Hey, Kashi." He headed down the aisle towards the two men. "I was looking for you." He placed a comforting hand on Kakashi's shoulder. 

"Just ran into someone from high school," he muttered, not bothering to introduce them. "We should be heading to lunch. It was good seeing you." He nodded once at the man and made a beeline for the door of the shop. Iruka followed after him, not sure what was going on. Kakashi made it halfway up the block before he stopped, looking utterly lost. The teacher gently took his arm and led him to his car. He looked like he was about to have a breakdown and needed somewhere safe.

He got Kakashi settled in on the passenger's side and hopped into the driver's seat. He had barely pulled out of his parking spot when he heard the other man start to cry. He was trying to hold it together, but he was visibly upset. "I'm sorry," he managed to choke out. "This was not how I wanted our first date to go."

"You have no reason to apologize, Kashi. You don't have to tell me what happened, but I'm here if you need to talk." Iruka headed towards his apartment, almost on autopilot. It would at least give him someplace semi-private to park.

Kakashi cried softly for several minutes as they drove in silence. They were almost to Iruka's when he finally calmed down enough to share. "We went to school together. He knew me before I was Kakashi. He recognized me because someone told him I had transitioned. He called me by my old name and I just froze. He started going off about all this bullshit from school, misgendering me the entire time." He buried his face in his hands. 

Rage welled up in the teacher as he gripped the steering wheel. "I am sorry you had to go through that." 

"The worst is when people mean well. He wanted to show how supportive he was. I guess I still look good as a dude," Kakashi scoffed. "He doesn't get that I was always a guy. Fuck, I hate living here sometimes. I hate this feminine-looking face and people who think they understand." His tears turned into anger the longer he talked. "This is why I wear the mask online. I hate when people call me pretty. Like no amount of T can change my damn bone structure and I can't grow facial hair to save my fucking life."

Kakashi fell quiet as they pulled into the parking structure at Iruka's. "Where are we?" He asked wearily.

"My place. It was close and I knew we would have privacy."

"At least no one will stare as I lose my shit." Kakashi ran a shaky hand through his hair. "I'm sorry to dump all this on you. Some first date. I guess I ruined that too."

Iruka reached over and put his hand over Kakashi's. "That asshole was in the wrong, not you. Nothing has been ruined. I can't understand everything you're going through, but I know about jerks from high school."

The other man offered him a small smile. "It's probably better that you find out I'm a hot mess now."

"And now would be a good time to tell you I'm a fucking disaster gay." That earned Iruka a small chuckle. "We all have our issues and I'm here if you ever need to talk. For what it's worth, I support you and I care about you a lot. And punching transphobes in the face is one of the many services I offer as a partner."

Kakashi snorted, shaking his head. "I know he was trying to be helpful, but fuck people don't realize how much their words hurt. Normally I'd have told him off, but I just froze this time. Thanks for getting me out of there. I'm sorry we didn't get the book."

Iruka shrugged. "So I buy it as an ebook for now and I make you dinner. Shit happens and plans change."

"Will you read it to me?" Kakashi asked hopefully.

That made the teacher laugh. "Sure. Anything for you, Sukea."

"Thanks, Ru. For everything." He still looked a bit shaken up, but Iruka hoped he had helped somewhat. He couldn't change how people treated Kakashi, but he could be there to support him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The gender struggles are real. I have been really going through it this last year. I hope you are enjoying this 100% self-indulgent fic.
> 
> Also special shout out to hades_bitch. I love your screen name so much. IDK if it's about Hades/Persephone, but that's what it makes me think of and every time I see it pop up I have to smile because I adore them.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: [Lex](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/alexianite) or [Art](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/adirtymartinisgalaxyart)   
>  Join our awesome Facebook group [Armada](https://www.facebook.com/groups/601270063618951/)  
> Also, I started posting an original story. Please check it out! [Exiting Eden](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18633511/chapters/44186227)


	5. Chapter 5

Iruka looked up from his phone, laughing. "Did you have to tell the group we were dating? Half of them ship us now and have threatened to send me fan art." His boyfriend was currently sprawled out on his couch as he graded homework. The incessant buzzing of his phone alerts had temporarily pulled him away from work. 

"Did you see I told them I only want art if it's porn?" He wiggled his eyebrows at the other man. "Besides, they would have figured it out eventually. Almost every picture we post has both of us in it now."

He rolled his eyes at Kakashi. "No pornographic art of us, please. I'm flattered some of them would want to draw that, but I'll pass on it. Also, you promised you wouldn't be a distraction if you came over."

Kakashi tried to look innocent. "I was just laying on the couch quietly, messaging the group. It's not my fault they started messaging you directly. Did you see the thread where they are discussing us collaborating on a story? I guess they think us dating means they get new, fresh smut. Though I am always up for some inspiration."

"Gross," he said in response to the lecherous look his boyfriend was giving him, "and tell them to get their minds out of the gutter." He picked his phone up and muted the alerts. "There. Now, you've all been silenced. I need to finish grading this or my student will never let me live it down. The last time I was late handing homework back I had to hear about it for like three weeks." He loved his students, but seventh graders were awful. One tried to debate why he should be able to turn in late work if Iruka didn't grade it on time. He always gave them back the previous weeks' homework packet on Friday morning so they could review their mistakes as they worked on the new packet. 

"You have a key right? Can I help?" Iruka looked at him suspiciously as he pulled out a chair and joined him at the table. "What is with that look? Can't I help my lovely boyfriend grade homework? Especially if it means I get more snuggles."

The teacher snorted at him. "I see. Your offer is very self-serving. I suppose that's fair, but I did warn you when I asked if you could come over." He passed over part of the homework he was grading. "Only grade the multiple-choice section. Put an 'x' over the number if it's incorrect and I'll grade the comprehension questions." He passed one of his red pens over to Kakashi. "And no shenanigans," he added.

Kakashi grinned at him. "I would never dream of it, Ru." He held his hand up in a third figured salute. “Scouts honor.”

Iruka snorted and rolled his eyes. “I have a hard time believing you were ever a scout.”

“Does fucking a scout leader count? I feel like it should count.” He grinned at his boyfriend, who was starting to look irritated.

“Grade. Or else.” Iruka couldn’t believe he had to use his teacher voice on his partner, but he seemed to respond better to it.

Kakashi grinned and leaned forward, “Or else what, sensei?” The silver-haired man sat back quickly before Iruka could his pen back. “I’m grading! I’ll behave!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been home sick since Friday. Nothing serious, but given everything going on I decided to take some extra time to get better. Wash your hands and take care of your loved ones.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: [Lex](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/alexianite) or [Art](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/adirtymartinisgalaxyart)   
>  Join our awesome Facebook group [Armada](https://www.facebook.com/groups/601270063618951/)  
> Also, I started posting an original story. Please check it out! [Exiting Eden](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18633511/chapters/44186227)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the last chapter was sitting as a draft on AO3 for a week and half unposted. Whoops.

Iruka sighed happily as he closed his laptop. After almost a year, his story was finally complete. He looked over at his boyfriend's slumbering form and smiled. Who knew a bad case of writer's block could make him so damn happy. Kakashi's phone chimed with an alert, making him stir. "Damn phone," he grumbled. 

"That was probably my fault. I posted the last chapter of my story, so that was probably the email letting you know." He reached over and brushed silver hair from his love's face. "I didn't mean to wake you."

Kakashi gently grabbed his hand, pressing soft kisses to his palm. "It's always worth waking up when you're next to me." Iruka felt his cheeks heat up as he ducked his head. "What? Too cheesy?" He chuckled at him. "Well, you make me feel incredibly cheesy and so damn happy, Ru. I'm glad you finished your story, but I'm also happy you got stuck there for a bit. Who knows how long it would have taken for us to meet in person if it wasn't for that."

The last few months had been the happiest time of his life. "Why don't you move in with me, Kashi?" He'd been wanting to ask him for weeks but had chickened out each time. Now, it felt right, like he knew for sure he was ready to take this step with him. Just a few years ago, he never would have thought he wanted to live with anyone again, not after Mizuki. Kakashi was different in so many ways. He felt like home. 

His boyfriend had sat up while he was lost in his thoughts. "I don't think I can," he said and Iruka's heart sank. "I think you have to move in with me because where the hell would we put all my dogs?" Iruka burst into laughter and launched the first thing soft thing he could find at Kakashi, who ducked it easily. "What was that for?"

"You made it sound like you were going to say no at first, your dork!" He yelped as Kakashi pinned him to the bed and tried to kiss him. "No, no kisses for you!"

"Let me love you, Ru." He shouted as he continued his efforts even as Iruka dissolved into laughter. "Don't laugh at my attempts to woo you by offering you my home and many dogs."

Iruka snorted at him. "Technically, I offered first." He let Kakashi finally steal a kiss. "You know we are never going to hear the end of it from the group."

His boyfriend kissed him again. "It's worth it. Now, I have to go read the hot smut my sexy lover wrote." Iruka was still grinning even as Kakashi snatched his phone up to read his final chapter. His characters got their happy ending and now he was too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story served its purpose as a fun, easy thing to write to get me back into the swing of things. Thank you to everyone who has read. The writer's block is finally easing some and I'm happy to be engaging with this wonderful fandom once again.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: [Lex](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/alexianite) or [Art](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/adirtymartinisgalaxyart)   
>  Join our awesome Facebook group [Armada](https://www.facebook.com/groups/601270063618951/)  
> Also, I started posting an original story. Please check it out! [Exiting Eden](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18633511/chapters/44186227)


End file.
